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In France during World War II, René Artois runs a small café where Resistance fighters, Gestapo men, German Army officers and escaped Allied POWs interact daily, ignorant of one another's true identity or presence, exasperating René.

26 Episodes

  • Desperate Doings in the Dungeon
    第 1 集
    Desperate Doings in the DungeonStrohm and Klinkerhoffen want to get rid of Flick who knows of the forgeries. The plan: René, dressed as Himmler, will raid the dungeon and eliminate Flick. But the Resistance preempt them and free Flick while René is chained up.
  • The Camera in the Potato
    第 2 集
    The Camera in the PotatoRené is finally rescued from the dungeon and returns to the cafe. Michelle tells him that he must photograph the invasion plans in Klinkerhoffen's safe. The General is lured away to the cafe but finds Strohm in bed with Yvette.
  • Dinner with the General
    第 3 集
    Dinner with the GeneralRene manages to photograph the safe by bursting into Gruber's room. Klinkerhoffen invites Helga to a private dinner, surveilled by Flick and Smallhausen, posing as gypsy violinists - they hope to hear more about the assassination plan.
  • The Dreaded Circular Saw
    第 4 集
    The Dreaded Circular SawThe blown-up safe contains not the invasion plans but the precious original paintings. Rene and LeClerc are captured by the Communist Resistance. Flick believes Gruber was hiding explosives with which to kill Hitler.
  • Otherwise Engaged
    第 5 集
    Otherwise EngagedRené and monsieur Leclerc have been captured by the communist resistance. The leader of the group turns out to be Denise Laroque, an old sweetheart of René. Because of this, René and Leclerc won't be killed, but René has to marry Denise. Meanwhile the British airmen have had it with hiding at Café René and try to surrender to Germans so they can get into a proper prisoner of war camp.
  • A Marriage of Inconvenience
    第 6 集
    A Marriage of InconvenienceRene dreads marrying Denise, but Michelle has abducted Denise and hidden her in an old mine shaft. The wedding goes ahead anyway, and Rene is surprised by who turns out to be his bride. And the vicar has been replaced as well.
  • No Hiding Place
    第 7 集
    No Hiding PlaceRené disguises himself as his father in order to escape the wrath of Denise Laroque.
  • The Arrival of the Homing Duck
    第 8 集
    The Arrival of the Homing DuckRené reports that the paintings are with the Communists. Klinkerhoffen plans to recover them, using Bertorelli's Italians. A generals' conference is to be held - Michelle gets René to do the catering and to get intel on the invasion.
  • Watch the Birdie
    第 9 集
    Watch the BirdieAt the generals' conference a French collaborator is replaced with Crabtree. Edith causes a diversion by poisoning the officers. While they are spouting foam from their mouths René attempts to photograph the map of the planned invasion.
  • René - Under an Assumed Nose
    第 10 集
    René - Under an Assumed NoseGeneral Von Klinkerhoffen tells Von Strohm and Gruber to catch and kill René for trying to poison a group of high German generals. René hides and then poses as a French general. Unfortunately his fake nose consists of plastic explosive.
  • The Confusion of the Generals
    第 11 集
    The Confusion of the GeneralsGerman generals plan to meet at the cafe disguised as onion sellers. So does a new group of shot down British airmen. Yvette learns why Michelle is not competing for René's affection. Meanwhile, Herr Flick is recovering in traction.
  • Who's for the Vatican?
    第 12 集
    Who's for the Vatican?A medal for bravery, a suicide pill and a hide-out in the Vatican introduce an old habit to René.
  • Ribbing the Bonk
    第 13 集
    Ribbing the BonkRené and the Resistance need to find a huge amount of money quickly to save Mimi from the Communists.
  • The Reluctant Millionaires
    第 14 集
    The Reluctant MillionairesHerr Flick tells Helga the money that was stolen from the bank was his and he suspects General von Klinkerhoffen has stolen it. Michelle tells René and the others the stolen money will not be used to safe Mimi and the Germans but it will be split amongst them. When officer Crabtree tells them the money was from the Gestapo, it ends up in René's trousers. Meanwhile, René has found a way to improve Edith's performance.
  • A Duck for Launch
    第 15 集
    A Duck for LaunchRené has got rid of the Gestapo's money, next is the secret microfilm, but he is hampered by the Communist Resistance girls in the cupboard.
  • The Exploding Bedpan
    第 16 集
    The Exploding BedpanWhile under interrogation, Alfonse's dicky ticker starts playing up, and he is whisked to hospital. He must be either rescued or eliminated before he can spill the beans about the stolen Gestapo money.
  • Going Like a Bomb
    第 17 集
    Going Like a BombMichelle and Crabtree hatch another plot to get the British airmen back to Blighty. Captain Bertorelli has stolen Gestapo money planted on him.
  • Money to Burn
    第 18 集
    Money to BurnEdith is in a romantic mood, and René is playing the piano.
  • Puddings Can Go Off
    第 19 集
    Puddings Can Go OffFaced with the problem of hiding 1,000 kilos of stolen high explosive, Michelle of the Resistance decides on a simple but daring course of action. It will be hidden in 500 Christmas puddings.
  • Land Mines for London
    第 20 集
    Land Mines for LondonNot only does René nearly get blown up by an exploding Christmas pudding, he also gets roped into another Resistance plan to smuggle out the British airmen.
  • Flight to Geneva
    第 21 集
    Flight to GenevaMichelle once again has a new and totally absurd plan to get the British airmen back home and René has had it: He secretly plans to take the train to Switzerland with Yvette and the paintings. Unfortunately Helga tells René to give colonel Von Strohm the paintings because Hitler himself wants the paintings and has send an art expert to verify their authenticity.
  • Train of Events
    第 22 集
    Train of EventsOn the Geneva Express René tries to avoid Edith and convinces Mimi to aboard the train. The colonel and Helga replace the original paintings by copies and Herr Flick - not knowing of this switch - replaces the copies by... other copies. Yvette and Leclerc also show up on the train. Yvette has found out René wanted to elope with her and Leclerc has come aboard to warn René the Resistance will blow up the train!
  • An Enigma Variation
    第 23 集
    An Enigma VariationChaos engulfs René as he attempts to hide the stolen gold. Meanwhile, the Resistance plan to steal the Enigma encoder.
  • Wedding Bloss
    第 24 集
    Wedding BlossRené asks Edith to marry him after hearing Monsieur Alphonse's intentions of asking for her hand in marriage. Meanwhile, General Von Klinkerhoffen suspects Colonel Von Strohm of stealing his gold, while Herr Flick suspects René.
  • Down the Drain
    第 25 集
    Down the DrainRené is still hiding the four bars of gold he has stolen and decides it is time he left his dangerous life in Nouvion.
  • All in Disgeese
    第 26 集
    All in DisgeeseRené is still harbouring the German Enigma machine as well as the four bars of gold he has stolen, two British airmen and the painting of the Cracked Vase with the Big Daisies by Van Gogh. So the café is now full and getting more crowded by the minute.
  • Gorden KayeRené Artois
  • Carmen SilveraEdith Artois
  • Vicki MichelleYvette Carte-Blanche
  • Richard MarnerColonel Kurt von Strohm
  • Kim HartmanPrivate Helga Geerhart
  • Guy SinerLieutenant Hubert Gruber
  • Kirsten CookeMichelle Dubois
  • Rose HillMadame Fanny
  • Jack HaigRoger Leclerc
  • Kenneth ConnorMonsieur Alfonse
  • Arthur BostromOfficer Crabtree
  • Richard GibsonHerr Otto Flick
  • Hilary MinsterGeneral Erich von Klinkerhoffen
  • John D. CollinsFlying Officer Fairfax
  • Nicholas FrankauFlying Officer Carstairs
  • Sue HodgeMimi Labonq
  • Gavin RichardsCaptain Alberto Bertorelli
  • John Louis MansiHerr Engelbert von Smallhausen
  • Mike Stephens制片人
  • John B. Hobbs制片人

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