Hatchet
Hatchet
A motley crew of tourists embark on a boat ride of the haunted Louisiana bayous where they learn the terrifying tale of local legend "Victor Crowley," a horribly disfigured man who was accidentally killed with a hatchet by the hands of his own father. But when the boat sinks and the ghost story turns out to be real, the group tries desperately to escape the swamp with their lives . . . and all of their pieces.
Kevin Ward reviewedJuly 2, 2025
I thought I would like this more because I’d generally heard good things about this, particularly the gore. I hated practically every character in this though. Joel David Moore who is our de facto lead was pretty annoying and unlikeable. I’m not really sure why it works for Justin Long movies, but it does. It didn’t work here though. The opening is pretty slow too, though I liked the Tony Todd and Robert Englund cameos. But, man, the characters and the movie itself were peak annoying on the boat tour. Thankfully, when the killing starts the films at least lives up to it’s reputation there. Excellent kills. My favorite is when a womans’s jaw is pried open and the top half of her head is ripped off. Great looking stuff. Also, liked the note it ended on with the hand reaching down into the water. Pretty fun way to end it, especially since there really wasn’t any character in particular that I was rooting for. Still had a pretty good time once the killing started, but I think I’m landing on a 2.5.