Jurassic World: Rebirth
Jurassic World: Rebirth
Five years post-Jurassic World: Dominion (2022), an expedition braves isolated equatorial regions to extract DNA from three massive prehistoric creatures for a groundbreaking medical breakthrough.
Hipster ZOMBIE reviewedJuly 5, 2025
“Jurassic World: Rebirth” might be the most ironic title of the year, because nothing about this film feels remotely alive. What was once a thrilling franchise grounded (at least loosely) in wonder, science, and survival horror has now been reduced to a brain-dead blockbuster akin to the Transformers franchise.
Let’s start with the story, or more accurately,the video game like story structure of the game where the main characters have to collect 3 dna samples from different dinos and then find a way off the island. I mean is this Jurassic World or Pokémon? And the much hyped “gene” spliced dinos? The film does little to delve into it other than 1 or two throw away lines.
Also, instead of focusing on the potential horror or ethical consequences of living in a world overrun by dinosaurs, Rebirth detours into the dumbest subplot imaginable: a generic, bickering suburban family who decide—because apparently they left their brains at the marina to sail directly into restricted dinosaur-infested waters. There’s no naval blockade, no no-fly zone, no UN task force patrolling the island. Nothing. It’s as if the world just forgot it was crawling with apex predators. One character even mutters something like “I thought they were all gone,” even though we have a Dino stuck under a bridge in New York in the first part of the film.
The human characters? Absolutely flavorless. They’re not even archetypes anymore—they’re shadows of tropes. The brave scientist with a guilty conscience. The gruff ex-military guy who says things like “we’re outta time.” The tech whiz who exists solely to shout “You guys might wanna see this!” right before a dinosaur breaks through a wall. No one has an arc. No one grows. Most barely register as sentient. You could replace them all with cardboard cutouts and no one would notice—except maybe the dinosaurs, and even they look bored.
The film tries to hit you in the feels with nostalgia when the main characters come across a herd of dinos and the iconic John Williams Jurassic Park theme starts to play. However, unlike in previous film entries in the franchise, here it feels forced and fails to elicit any emotion whatsoever.
At this point, this once beloved franchise just feels like a series still living off the fondness people have for the original.
In the end, Rebirth is just another shallow, uninspired cash grab more interested in selling new dinosaur toys than moving the story forward.