Two and a Half Men

Season 7

TV-14
83%83%
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Where to Watch Season 7
22 Episodes
  • 818-jklpuzo
    E1
    818-jklpuzoChelsea encourages Charlie to help his ex-fiancée Mia launch her music career, but does he still have feelings for her? And what if she's a terrible singer? Meanwhile, Alan wants Charlie to let Melissa move in with him.
  • Whipped Unto the Third Generation
    E2
    Whipped Unto the Third GenerationWhen Chelsea convinces Charlie to let Alan's new girlfriend, Melissa, move in, the girls end up taking over Charlie's house.
  • Mmm, Fish. Yum.
    E3
    Mmm, Fish. Yum.Jake tries to take advantage of every opportunity to drive when he gets his learner's permit. Alan tries to deal with Judith's mother in an attempt to get closer to Judith's new baby. Chelsea's cat runs off after Charlie has an accident and takes it out on the cat.
  • Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
    E4
    Laxative Tester, Horse InseminatorAlan starts working for Evelyn as Charlie works to fix the relationship between Chelsea and Jake.
  • For the Sake of the Child
    E5
    For the Sake of the ChildJake stops at nothing to get away from Charlie and Alan, after they embarrass him out in public.
  • Give Me Your Thumb
    E6
    Give Me Your ThumbAlan's advice to Chelsea that she get breast-reduction surgery is not met with enthusiasm by Charlie, who kicks him out, but staying with Evelyn has its own challenges.
  • Untainted by Filth
    E7
    Untainted by FilthAlan and Charlie are shocked when they wake up next to a strange woman, and try to find out what happened.
  • Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
    E8
    Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.While overcoming a bad break-up, Chelsea invites her beautiful college roommate to stay at the house.
  • Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
    E9
    Captain Terry's Spray-On HairWhile Alan struggles to cure his baldness, Charlie deals with the problem that he can't satisfy Chelsea.
  • That's Why They Call It Ball Room
    E10
    That's Why They Call It Ball RoomChelsea wants Charlie to take dancing lessons for the wedding, when Charlie uncovers the truth that Chelsea has been lying about her finances.
  • Warning, It's Dirty
    E11
    Warning, It's DirtyJake is taught the art of infidelity by Charlie, while Celeste is away for Christmas.
  • Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
    E12
    Fart Jokes, Pie and CelesteCharlie braves Jake's wrath over "bad courting advice", talks him out of offering his ex-girlfriend a desperate serenade, and counsels cleverly-dosed vulnerability, but the kid is still dumped again. Feeling utterly ignored by Jake, Alan convinces Herb that they have enough in common to go out together. Judith finds out and snaps Herb's leash, but Alan will not give up.
  • Yay, No Polyps!
    E13
    Yay, No Polyps!Charlie opts to have a colonoscopy in order to avoid going on a trip with Chelsea to see her parents. However, when he returns home, he finds her parents at his house.
  • Crude and Uncalled For (1)
    E14
    Crude and Uncalled For (1)Charlie suspects Chelsea likes the lawyer representing Alan after his arrest for a bar fight.
  • Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)
    E15
    Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)Charlie sleep on the coach after a row with Chelsea over her spending time with the slick lawyer-philanthropist. Alan, Jake, their ma and Berta just assume Charlie is the one who 'misbehaved' again, but after a repeat and graciously giving her the benefit of the doubt, she confesses intentional infidelity inspired her over-sensitiveness, yet moves out and 'postpones' their wedding plans.
  • Tinkle Like a Princess
    E16
    Tinkle Like a PrincessCharlie is a wreck after Chelsea moves in with her pa and his gay partner, so bitter over women he even chases Jake's date 'preventively'. Alan even fears his brother may commit suicide, but change makes the womanizer meet a stripper/masseuse in church and take her to a Vegas wedding chapel. Charlie now tries again to win Chelsea back, who asks time, then learns the truth about bride Betsy from a surprise visitor.
  • I Found Your Moustache
    E17
    I Found Your MoustacheCharlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand.
  • Ixnay on the Oggie Day
    E18
    Ixnay on the Oggie DayCharlie hooks up with Chelsea's best friend, which could cause problems when Chelsea wants to get back together. Meanwhile, Alan is paid handsomely by a chiropractic patient who wants a different kind of adjustment.
  • Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
    E19
    Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His GraveCharlie's next composition, a jingle for TV series 'super-dad', is hindered by Jake and his first-ever, slightly smarter buddy, drummer Elridge, yet helps them dating. Alan drops his plan to complain about him after seeing his sexy single mother Lyndsey. Charlie warns that dating you son's mother is wicked even by his standard, but to no avail.
  • I Called Him Magoo
    E20
    I Called Him MagooAlan tries for an intimate night at a hotel with his new girlfriend, while Charlie takes a different approach to obtain the "girlfriend experience"
  • Gumby With a Pokey
    E21
    Gumby With a PokeyEven insensitive Jake now commiserates with Charlie's post-Chelsea-gloom. Charlie wants tranquilizers, but the pharmacist arranges a prescription for pot. Judith's late grandpa left a valuable clock to Alan. Alan decides to go pick it up in Sacramento by car and taking Jake enables father-son quality time, but they have hardly anything in common except no future.
  • This Is Not Gonna End Well
    E22
    This Is Not Gonna End WellCharlie is miffed over Alan's planned attendance of Chelsea's birthday party and suffers the indignity of having Jake chauffer him around following a license suspension.
Cast of Season 7
  • Charlie SheenCharlie Harper
  • Jon CryerAlan Harper
  • Angus T. JonesJake Harper
  • Conchata FerrellBerta
  • Holland TaylorEvelyn Harper
  • Marin HinkleJudith Harper
Season 7 Reviews
Watch Season 7 Videos
  • Two And A Half Men: Season 7
    Two And A Half Men: Season 7Trailer
  • Two And A Half Men: The Complete Seventh Season
    Two And A Half Men: The Complete Seventh SeasonTrailer
  • Two And A Half Men: Clip 1
    Two And A Half Men: Clip 1Scene
  • Two And A Half Men: S'mores
    Two And A Half Men: S'moresScene
  • Two And A Half Men: Treasure
    Two And A Half Men: TreasureScene
  • Two And A Half Men: Colonoscopy
    Two And A Half Men: ColonoscopyScene
  • Two And A Half Men: Red Lobster
    Two And A Half Men: Red LobsterScene
 
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