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Frozen Assets
Directed by
George T. Miller
PG-13
1992
1h 36m
Comedy
3.3
29%
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A man is hired to run a bank which turns out to be a sperm bank.
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Where to Watch Frozen Assets
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Cast of Frozen Assets
Shelley Long
Dr. Grace Murdock
Corbin Bernsen
Zach Shepard
Teri Copley
Peaches
Larry Miller
Newton Patterson
Dody Goodman
Mrs. Patterson
Jeanne Cooper
Zach Shepard's mother
Jenifer Lewis
Jomisha
Paul Sand
McTaggert
Gerrit Graham
Lewis Crandall
John Asher
Bobby Murdock
George T. Miller
Director
Don Klein
Writer / Producer
Tom Kartozian
Writer
Frozen Assets Ratings & Reviews
Philadelphia Inquirer
Desmond Ryan
Bristling with terrible puns and single-entendres, Frozen Assets is the kind of movie that is so wretched you watch it with clenched eyes.
South Florida Sun-Sentinel
Candice Russell
Almost everything about Frozen Assets, a comedy set in a sperm bank, has the taint of a sub-mediocre TV movie.
New York Times
Stephen Holden
It is the sort of frantic comedy that builds up a certain maniacal energy by trying to top itself in bad taste and ludicrous plot twists every few minutes.
Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Doug Mills
Like a bad home movie, Frozen Assets is a smirking, painfully self-conscious sitcom made by people from Mars.
Miami Herald
Rene Rodriguez
The movie manages to be worse than the most derivative cable-TV flick. It's amazingly bad.
Los Angeles Times
Kevin Thomas
It's hopeless, a romantic comedy with a tricky premise that demands the utmost in inspiration to carry it off but instead receives only the most trite, stale development.
Chicago Sun-Times
Roger Ebert
Movies like Frozen Assets are small miracles. You look at them and wonder how, at any stage of the production, anyone could have thought there was a watchable movie here.
TV Guide
TV Guide Staff
Frozen Assets never manages to amount to much more than moving wallpaper, inoffensive but relentlessly uninteresting.
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