Artemis Fowl
Directed by Kenneth Branagh
Dzieje dwunastoletniego geniusza, Artemisa Fowla, który wywodzi się z rodziny od lat królującej w przestępczym światku. Jego głównym celem jest odnalezienie zaginionego w tajemniczych okolicznościach ojca. W trudnej i niebezpiecznej misji pomaga mu lojalny opiekun Butler. Podczas pełnej przygód wyprawy natrafiają na pradawny, rozwijający się w podziemiach, niezwykle zaawansowany świat wróżek. Chłopiec sądzi, że zniknięcie jego ojca jest w jakiś sposób powiązane z tajemniczą, odizolowaną cywilizacją. Obmyśla więc przebiegły, choć niebezpieczny plan i z czasem zostaje wciągnięty w groźną grę z wszechmocnymi magicznymi istotami.
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Artemis Fowl Ratings & Reviews
- Shaydeknight28 marca 2026Artemis Fowl is booooooooring. Not slow, not measured, not restrained, just boring. You keep expecting something to kick in and it never does. That shouldn't surprise me, Kenneth Branagh directed it. I haven't liked anything by him since Henry V. The faerie world actually starts off reasonably well. Underground cities, glowing tech, a bit of mysticism mixed with sci-fi. It looks expensive and carefully built. Then the fakery starts to show. Everything becomes glossy and weightless. The environments stop feeling like places and start feeling like screensavers. The more time you spend there, the less convincing it becomes. It's all surface. The story is painfully simple. It's predictable, tidy, and completely without friction. Problems appear and disappear almost immediately. Characters shift sides because the plot needs them to, not because anything really changes. I haven't read the original novel, but the reaction from readers was loud and consistent. This isn't a faithful adaptation, which is almost expected at this point. Disney has a habit of sanding down anything with an edge until all that remains is a soft, harmless outline. The antagonist is ridiculous, I kept expecting her to yell "I'll get you next time, Gadget - er, I mean, Artemis!" Ferdia Shaw, in the title role, has all the charisma of wet clay. You can see the potential but he's stiff, flat, and oddly passive. Artemis is supposedly a prodigy, he's manipulative and dangerous in a polite way. Think Hannibal Lecter as a kid without the evil or casual cannibalism. The kid just stands there and delivers lines. Nothing sticks. The film DOES look good. The sets are polished. The effects are polished. Everything is polished. That's part of the problem. It feels assembled rather than real, even considering the subject matter. It's the showroom version of a fantasy film. And then there's Josh Gad. He's just exhausting. The mugging, the constant unfunny comic relief, the narration. It never stops. And yes, the dirt eating gag is just unpleasant. Not funny, not charming, just vaguely gross. The film keeps cutting back to him as if he's the glue holding everything together, when he's actually helping to drag it all down. Just about everything he does is tiresome and this is no different. What really kills it is how quickly everyone becomes a team. One minute these characters barely know each other, the next they're essentially Justice League Dark, working together with complete trust. No build-up, no tension, no reason for any of it. It feels like scenes are missing. There are emotional shortcuts everywhere, amounting to zero connections with the audience. In parallel, the pacing somehow manages to be rushed and dull at the same time. Things happen quickly, but none of them matter. So you get movement without engagement. That's a hard combination to pull off, but the film manages it. The whole experience is like going to a fancy restaurant and being served a bowl of whipped cream for dessert. No cake, no fruit, nothing underneath. Just air. And not even fresh whipped cream, the canned stuff. Sweet for a second, then you realize there's absolutely nothing satisfying there.
- Pejhman13 lutego 2026The best thing I can say about the Artemis Fowl movie is that at least I didn't have to pay money to see it. After waiting about 15 years to watch what was one of the most witty and well-written children's books I'd ever read come to life, Gilderoy F***ing Lockhart snuck into its room and butchered it with a blunt hatchet. It pays almost no attention to any of the characterisation and absolutely no attention at all to any of the plot lines, completely reinventing every aspect of the books with the same creativity, vigor and zeal as the esteemed authors of the Yellow Pages. The only things dryer than the actors were the lines they were forced to recite, presumably while their loved ones were held at gunpoint to ensure their compliance. Only Lara McDonnell gets anywhere near her character (Holly Short), but even then her character is decimated by a screenwriter who re-imagined her as an ingenue with daddy issues. Now I have to eat healthy and exercise in the vain hope that I can live long enough for a reboot in the hands of somebody who considering reading more than the Wikipedia abstract for the books prior to making the movies. In place of a star rating I would have preferred to give it a rating in black holes. Unfortunately, it lacks both the gravity and the content for such a rating, so I give it 3 steaming turds and a small flask of cat urine.
- Billy Zane23 października 2025Not great, but definitely not as bad as everyone says.
- Tyler K1 września 2025Insulting to anyone that read the book.
- Callum22 grudnia 2025⭐½ – Artemis Fowl – A case study in how not to adapt a book This is one of those films where you can feel the missed opportunities leaking out of every scene. Artemis Fowl looks expensive, sounds busy, and yet somehow manages to be flat, confusing, and strangely joyless. It’s fantasy by committee — all the ingredients present, none of them allowed to develop a flavour. The story rushes through world-building like it’s afraid the audience might ask questions. Characters are introduced, explained, and emotionally resolved before you’ve had time to care about any of them. Stakes are announced rather than earned. Magic exists because the script says it does, not because it feels lived-in or meaningful. Performances range from serviceable to bewildered. Even talented actors seem stranded, delivering exposition instead of character. Whatever made the books beloved — wit, intelligence, moral ambiguity — is either flattened or missing entirely. The result feels less like a story and more like a corporate obligation. The most telling thing is this: the film actively made me relieved that I hadn’t read the source material. That’s never a good sign. A good adaptation should make you curious about the book. This one feels like it would only leave you disappointed on behalf of it. ⭐½ is generous, but the scale requires mercy. 🥤 Drink Pairing Flat lemonade — sweet in theory, dull in execution, and gone from memory almost immediately.
- zalic8 czerwca 2025Way to kill a beloved childhood series, Disney.
- freemajor5 listopada 2025A ton of FX doesn't make a good movie. Woke casting, but the author would be upset about it: Butler is clearly “Eurasian” in the book, but they have to give roles to African Americans. Julius (!) Root is not a woman, but they wanted Judy Dench for the role. And no one—NO ONE—believes that the baby-faced guy is capable of any kind of deviousness, and he can't act it out either. Even the first Harry Potter looks more evil. Disney should be banned from adapting books.
- Coouge14 września 2025I feel bad for the actors. It’s so bad.
- marshalsea16 sierpnia 2025Crap, which as it's Kenneth Brannagh is suprising. Guess it was Disney interference - cause the source is highly regarded and supposedly the film is merely a lift of characters and the central tenet that the standard fantasy creatures are real. There's a lot of great actors who are obviously just doing it for the paycheck... there's also the two leads that are woefully meh. Josh Gad on the other hand really shines - doing huge amounts of heavy lifting for the film. Avoid.
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Artemis Fowl Trivia
Artemis Fowl was released on 28 maja 2020.
Artemis Fowl was directed by Kenneth Branagh.
Artemis Fowl has a runtime of 1 h 34 min.
Artemis Fowl was produced by Kenneth Branagh, Judy Hofflund.
Dzieje dwunastoletniego geniusza, Artemisa Fowla, który wywodzi się z rodziny od lat królującej w przestępczym światku. Jego głównym celem jest odnalezienie zaginionego w tajemniczych okolicznościach ojca. W trudnej i niebezpiecznej misji pomaga mu lojalny opiekun Butler. Podczas pełnej przygód wyprawy natrafiają na pradawny, rozwijający się w podziemiach, niezwykle zaawansowany świat wróżek. Chłopiec sądzi, że zniknięcie jego ojca jest w jakiś sposób powiązane z tajemniczą, odizolowaną cywilizacją. Obmyśla więc przebiegły, choć niebezpieczny plan i z czasem zostaje wciągnięty w groźną grę z wszechmocnymi magicznymi istotami.
The key characters in Artemis Fowl are Artemis Fowl II (Ferdia Shaw), Artemis Fowl I (Colin Farrell), Captain Holly Short (Lara McDonnell).
Artemis Fowl is rated 12.
Artemis Fowl is an Adventure, Familijny, Fantasy film.
Artemis Fowl has an audience rating of 1.9 out of 10.
Artemis Fowl had a budget of 125 mln USD.