Armed
Directed by Neil MackayA group of veteran marines steal a shipment of weapons from the military only to find a Cold War era robot that hunts them down, determined to complete its mission. Nothing can stop this deadly killing machine.
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Armed Ratings & Reviews
- asortlandJune 22, 2025Bad acting, bad dialogue, was this the first movie for these actors/director? Idea was good (thats why it got 1,5) but they destroyed it with acting/ cutting. It IS better than most movies from The Asylum, but that was barely.
- Mister ArnMay 18, 2025“Armed” is a low-budget sci-fi action thriller about a group of veteran marines who steal a cache of weapons, unknowingly triggering a killbot programmed to destroy anything in its path. The film plays more like a horror flick, with the relentless robot as its monster. There’s plenty of gunfire, chaos, and tension, but little in the way of character depth or emotional stakes. It’s a straightforward shoot-’em-up, light on nuance and heavy on firepower.
- jackmeatMay 6, 2025My quick rating - 3.4/10. Armed answers the age-old question no one asked: “What if The Terminator got drunk, passed out in a Cold War storage locker, and woke up during a low-budget marine reunion?” Well, kiddos, the answer is: nothing special! The plot kicks off when a ragtag group of veteran marines, who spend more time bickering than planning, decide it's a great idea to steal a shipment of government weapons. Because clearly, nothing says “tactical genius” like poking the Pentagon with a stick. Unfortunately for them (and us), the shipment contains more than dusty ammo and machine guns; it houses a robot that looks like it crawled straight out of Xtro's horror closet circa 1982 (around the 1:15 mark). And I don’t mean “retro-chic” cool—I mean “should’ve stayed in the attic” crusty. The robot is an unstoppable Cold War relic whose only mission is to complete its original directive, which we assume is “kill people while making slow, clunky noises and awkward camera poses.” It lumbers around with the dead-eyed menace of a Roomba with a vendetta, while our protagonists argue over who’s in charge like it’s a bad Thanksgiving dinner with guns. Action? Minimal. Most of the runtime is spent listening to flat, lifeless dialogue that sounds like it was copy-pasted from a discount military simulator. Every line is delivered with the emotional weight of someone ordering drive-thru, and the only thing lower than the budget is the energy of the cast. There’s a lot of meaningful staring, frustrated shouting, and the occasional heartfelt monologue that feels like it wandered in from a completely different movie. Maybe a soap opera. Or a traffic safety video. But credit where it’s due: the ending is ballsy. I won’t spoil it, but let’s just say it goes out with a bang—then limps back in with an after-credit scene so shamelessly sequel-baiting, I nearly applauded. Not because I wanted more, but because it took guts to assume anyone would. If Armed were a weapon, it’d be a jammed BB gun wrapped in duct tape. If it were a robot, it’d be the kind your neighbor built in the garage using parts from a VCR. It tries to be intense, important, and full of gusto, but ends up being a 90-minute argument interrupted by a killer toaster with abandonment issues. Watch at your own risk—or better yet, arm yourself with booze and friends, and turn it into a bad movie night classic. The unintentional laughs might be worth it. Would you watch the sequel if they actually make it?
Armed Trivia
Armed was released on March 4, 2025.
Armed was directed by Neil Mackay.
Armed has a runtime of 90 min.
Armed was produced by Sean Douglas.
The key characters in Armed are Omar Tucci, Mason Cromwell, Rick Amsbury.
Armed is rated Not Rated.
Armed is an Action, Horror, Thriller film.
Armed has an audience rating of 3.6 out of 10.