Battleship
“Battleship” es la libre adaptación al cine del popular juego de mesa de Hasbro conocido como “Hundir la flota” o ”Batalla naval”. La curiosa variante que plantea esta versión es que la batalla será entre la U.S. Navy y… ¡una flota alienígena! La historia nos propone una épica aventura de acción que transcurre en el mar, el cielo y la tierra, y en la que nuestro planeta lucha por sobrevivir contra una fuerza muy superior. La película está protagonizada por Taylor Kitsch en el papel del teniente Hopper, un oficial de la Marina destinado al John Paul Jones; Brooklyn Decker es Sam Shane, una fisioterapeuta de la Marina y novia de Hopper; Alexander Skarsgård es Stone, el hermano mayor de Hopper y comandante del Samson; Rihanna es la suboficial Raikes, especialista en armas del John Paul Jones; y Liam Neeson es el almirante Shane, el oficial superior de Hopper y Stone (y padre de Sam).
Callum revisado
29 de diciembre de 2025•
⭐⭐½ – Battleship – Loud, dumb, and fully committed to the bit.
This is totally dumb — but dumb in a way that knows exactly what it’s doing. The action is loud, ridiculous, and energetic enough to keep you entertained even though the story and characters barely register once the credits roll. It’s prime mindless movie-night material.
If you think Rihanna makes a convincing battleship captain… well, that’s on you. But it’s also not a reason to instantly write the film off like so many did. Yes, it’s barely like the board game we all know — except for about five to ten minutes where they very literally recreate it — but honestly, how on earth were they supposed to make a faithful adaptation of that? Given the source material, they didn’t do terribly.
The unintentionally funniest part is the retired sailors sequence. They’re suddenly everywhere, already stationed on the ship, hands on the big guns, ready to roll like they never left. Don’t get me wrong — plenty of old timers I know would absolutely volunteer tomorrow — but the idea that an old battleship, half-crewed by people older than my father, would meaningfully hold its own against an interstellar enemy is… optimistic, at best.
Still, that’s missing the point. This isn’t Tennyson or Shakespeare. It’s not even pretending to be clever. It’s about big guns, big noise, and spectacle turned up high enough that you stop caring about the logic. Meet it on its level, and it does exactly what it says on the tin.
🚢🍺 An ice-cold lager cracked open mid-explosion — loud, silly, and surprisingly enjoyable if you stop asking questions.
Callum revisado
29 de diciembre de 2025•
⭐⭐½ – Battleship – Loud, dumb, and fully committed to the bit.
This is totally dumb — but dumb in a way that knows exactly what it’s doing. The action is loud, ridiculous, and energetic enough to keep you entertained even though the story and characters barely register once the credits roll. It’s prime mindless movie-night material.
If you think Rihanna makes a convincing battleship captain… well, that’s on you. But it’s also not a reason to instantly write the film off like so many did. Yes, it’s barely like the board game we all know — except for about five to ten minutes where they very literally recreate it — but honestly, how on earth were they supposed to make a faithful adaptation of that? Given the source material, they didn’t do terribly.
The unintentionally funniest part is the retired sailors sequence. They’re suddenly everywhere, already stationed on the ship, hands on the big guns, ready to roll like they never left. Don’t get me wrong — plenty of old timers I know would absolutely volunteer tomorrow — but the idea that an old battleship, half-crewed by people older than my father, would meaningfully hold its own against an interstellar enemy is… optimistic, at best.
Still, that’s missing the point. This isn’t Tennyson or Shakespeare. It’s not even pretending to be clever. It’s about big guns, big noise, and spectacle turned up high enough that you stop caring about the logic. Meet it on its level, and it does exactly what it says on the tin.
🚢🍺 An ice-cold lager cracked open mid-explosion — loud, silly, and surprisingly enjoyable if you stop asking questions.
